2025 is taking it’s final sip of coffee before clocking into work. We’re a quarter of the way through the 21st century. I don’t have any cliche quips about how the time has flown by or how I can’t believe it’s already almost the upcoming year. Frankly, there has been so much change crammed into the last 25 years of history that it feels almost overdue for us to finish shedding the remaining vestiges of the 20th century.

For the coming year my hope is to give more to those around me. My intention is to find small ways to make life better for others, whether it be smiling at a stranger, picking up some litter, volunteering, or cleaning up at church coffee hour, there are countless things I can do to show my appreciation for being alive and part of this world.

I do have a selfish reason for setting out on this trail; I want connection. I grew up in an emotional void; I never experienced a trust relationship with another human for all my youth. The process of overcoming and healing this wound has been arduous and agonizing. A decade of attempts at climbing out of the pits of depression, with many tumbles back to the bottom, certainly took a toll on my spirit. Many hours were spent identifying and unwinding webs of thoughts and behaviors that cocooned my entire being. I’ve had to troubleshoot chronic gut health issues as well, which hindered and tarried my whole process of healing at every opportunity.

All this said. When I was a teenager, I had very little sense of self. No ambition. No hope. I would rot at the computer for hours. During the summers I sometimes wouldn’t leave my room for days. My favorite mental pastime was contemplating suicide and devising new methods of self-hate and self-pity. It doesn’t matter who you are or what you’re given; without relationships with other human beings, the self will collapse inwards into a nihilistic husk.

Where I am at now is proof of God’s love for me. I can hardly believe I was able to climb out of such a dark crevasse.

The journey so far has led me to this realization: in order to feel connection and belonging I have to choose to embrace the world outside of myself. No one can give me this feeling, for it is not found in the world; it’s found within. The thing to feel connected to is objective, external, but the feeling itself is only generated through an inner motion of expressing my energies toward that object.

That first trusted relationship with another person is to gain a sense of self-acceptance -to feel adequate and useful. I was long delayed in gaining self-acceptance. But to truly feel connection, one must springboard from self-acceptance into contributing oneself to creation.

I hope my writings have contributed to you, and made your life better in some way. Thank you, reader, whether you know me in person or somehow stumbled to this little corner of the web, for spending your time and attention to meet with my mind.

May the coming year be a time of blessing, joy, and growth for us both!

n.b. I thank Alfred Adler for sharing his ideas.